02 February 2011


You should know that for more than one reason, it is obviously the month. Or maybe you have already forgotten? Read on and you might remember why I wrote that first sentence.

I am sure it is there. I feel it. The cold monsoon intensifies it even further. I am pertaining to this ugly creepy gloom lurking in my shadowy parts. You know what, sometimes it even takes over my better parts that it would at random moments make my mind flip into subconscious. It is like having lapses. Really. I'm pretty sure my recent historical timeline has micro-discontinuities in it.

Not a cheesy item. It was my roomate Jap's gift to me and my other roomate Mat since we both celebrated our birthdays last month.
You did notice the new add-on on my header, didn't you? No? Well now you do. I am putting that there hopefully only until the month ends. I am putting that there because I am beginning to lose my purpose in setting this blog up.

I have recently been pondering where this blog should be heading. I was having a hard time though as I couldn't remember why I set this blog up in the first place. I can conjure a bunch of reasons but I know that they're not exactly the right one. And then I recalled all the entries here that mattered to me the most. I noticed one common point in all of them: I was writing them to you. I may be half aware of it when I wrote them, but yeah, it doesn't matter. I was writing them to you.

I can say that I am maybe subconsciously doing this to update you of all the things that happened to me while you're gone. (Argh!) I meant, when you left.

I can say that I am doing this hopeful that I'll grow tired of you. God, it has been over a year. Talk about being pathetic, yeah? But I admit that I still want you. Sometimes I still dream of you. And what's more sad is that I feel warmth when I do. I also admit that I still believe in you. I have to say that, because no matter how hard I deny it, it is the truth. But I want all of these to be over. Soon. So, if they say that talking about it is one of the methods then I'll desperately head that way.

I can say lots of other different things but they're not necessary at this point. I have already established that starting now, this blog will be a love letter to you. Yup. February is not just everycouple's month. It also was our month. It contains our anniversary that never happened.

a product of my boredom in the office many months ago. Oh! the Bank and the shape, another allusion to the second person.. sheesh

To add insult to injury, our "employee welfare" committee in the office have started sending a daily memo with a dancing cupid in it. Yesterday it read "13". Today it has the big number twelve on it. Maybe they prepared a surprise event or something. That's a good initiative to be honest. But a Valentine countdown!! ... Really?! I mean, who does that?


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