THAT BIG LUMP IN MY CHEST

Do I like feeling awful?

Many months ago, I met J. J makes me smile. J takes care of me. And J is simply everything I could have ever wanted. But J isn't.

J is simple. Simple-minded. Meek. Down-to-earth. J is loving. And J is good for me. J has the qualities of a person I want to grow old with.

But I couldn't give my heart to J. Not even if I badly want to. How can I hand it to J? When I have already given it to you.

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I hate to write more about this. That big lump just keeps on growing. I wish it will just go away.

Thanks for turning me into a monster.